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"THIS IS YOUR FAULT" Beauregard continued to yell. "WE'RE HERE BECAUSE OF YOU!"

Spencer's little brain finally put all the pieces together. He pooped his pants when he realized. Now he knew how bad this was going to be. Thirteen had no plans to kill them. Probably not even hurt them at all. His was going to be much. much worse.

So what was it that happened to you in 4th grade?

Nothing. 4th grade was great. It might have been the best year of my childhood. and not just because I was still years away from ever meeting Spencer and Beauregard.

Congratulations, Granny. It's nice to see a moment of clarity and civility coming from you.

Kitten Academy

At this point fourteen came into the room wearing a tanktop.

"Hey Spencer," she said while playing with their tits. Spencer tried to look away, but couldn't help becoming sexually excited. She noticed his excitement and smiled. She sat on the bench across from him and looked directly at him. Her legs spread far apart, she started rubbing herself between her legs. Spencer's heart was pounding. He was feeling like jumping out of the chair and raping her, but he was tied up.

Hillary in 2020-she's trustworthy and believable as long as you don't look at her giving away 20% of USA's yellow cake uranium to "Asian" entities and receiving up to 450 million dollars from the Russians.

Vince Foster blows donkeys. Then he forces them to drink spicy diarrhea. Word.

Everybody knows turd is the word. Well, around here anyway.

NO. Turd is not the word. There are thousands of words that we can use. Just pick one. Any one.

I'll start. The word I pick is.... Orangutan. NO. The word is not Orangutan, it is turd. Turd sandwich. Turd in the shower. Turd in your backyard. Turd for breakfast. Turd smeared on your monitor. Turd everywhere. Because Turd Is The Word.

haha! you are old and stupid!

FALSE. I am young, smart, and healthy. All I need is a large dildo in my ass.

haha! you are indeed old and stupid!

FALSE. I am young, smart, and healthy. All I need is my own website so you retards can spend all day on it making homosexual comments.

I had a dream a couple nights ago. For some reason I was in the same place as Spencer. He knew about this place and that Spencer is based on him. Since we all know he's watching and desperate for attention, let's all say HELLO SPENCER.

I still hate you, Spencer. Why are you still alive?

hahahahahaha! Old, stupid, and repetitious! haha! Enjoy your stupid life!

"You'll never take me alive!" Spencer bolted for the emergency exit, setting off the alarm as he pushed open the door and climbed down the fire escape.

He made it three blocks down and turned the corner and stopped to catch his breath. Up ahead he saw Gandalf giving a lecture to a bunch of homeless folk on the proper way to cast spells. Spencer joined the crowd, notebook in hand ready to take notes. Suddenly, a fence came crashing through the sidewalk, impaling Spencer through the chest. "Again?!" he whined as he crapped his pants -- and died. THE END

And so it goes.

The only good cop is a dead cop.

It went. Spencer was dead. He found himself in Hell, swimming in a lake of fire. It burned. Burned a lot, even more than that time it burned when he peed. It burned more than his butt ever did. It burned! Spencer knew he deserved this, but he still cried, and the devil laughed at him. "I laugh at you!" said the devil. "Ha ha ha!"

"Stop laughing at me!" cried Spencer. "It's not funny! This burns even more than that time when I peed!"

"You know what, I need some weed. And maybe some speed. Can you do a good deed and give me a lead? Where could I find this weed and speed?"

"No drugs for you!" said the devil.

"Drugs!" Spencer begged.

The devil threw all of the drugs onto the fire, just to deny them to Spencer. But little did the devil know, superfluous commas aside, ...contribute to our story.

 

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