But you've had 70 + years. That's not bad.
WWRJD with AOC?
The only good cop is a dead cop.
Yes, it's true. The only good cop is a dead cop. That's why, when you're in trouble and you need the police, it's time to call:
MAX BOOKER: GHOST COP!
(Insert exciting 80's-style theme song performed by Survivor)
Max materialized in the sergeant's office. "You wanted to talk to me, Sarge?" he growled.
"That's right, Booker. I've got a new assignment for you, and it's an important one so don't blow it. I hope you didn't think you could slack off just because you're a ghost now."
Max shook his head and said in his gruff voice, "Sarge, you won't see me slack off until every lowlife criminal in this hellhole town is behind bars. What's my assignment?"
The sergeant slapped a manila folder onto his desk and several papers slid out. "It's the Mansfield case. His hens have been disappearing from his coop without a trace."
Max furrowed his brow. "You want me to track down chickens?"
"These aint no ordinary cluckers. The CIA has injected them with a serum that has classified government intel coded in DNA. If the Russians get ahold of those birds, we'll have an international security crisis on our hands."
Max frowned and nodded. "This sounds serious. You're sure this isn't a job for Super Trump?"
"No. There's potential conflict of interest considering his ties with Putin. By the way, he goes by 'MAGA-Man' now. I want you and your new partner to find out what's happened to those hens and get them back before they lay any eggs in the wrong hands."
Max's eyebrows shot up. "Partner? I work alone!"
"Not any more. I'm teaming you up with our latest recruit, Camila Lopez. Oh, here she is now."
As if on cue, a petite brown-eyed officer with a black pony tail stepped into the office. The sergeant said, "This is Lopez. She graduated top of her class at the academy, and she's the best I've new recruit I've seen since you joined. She's a firecracker. You just have to remember not to take her out in direct sunlight or she'll burst into flames."
Max looked at her in surprise. "So, you're a vampire."
Camila flashed him a shy smile that revealed two pointed canines. "Don't worry. I haven't feasted on the blood of the living in almost six months. I'm faithfully attending Blood-suckers Anonymous and everything. Still, it's good thing you're a ghost so I won't be tempted. Mind if I ask how you died, or is that too personal?"
Max looked down and frowned. "Last month I impaled myself on a fence and ... lost control of my bodily functions. I don't like to talk about it."
PRESIDENT DONALD J TRUMP
Interesting how we get the best president ever after having the worst president ever. Trump has the lowest unemployment rate overall since 1969 and my portfolio has been doing 11-12 % for two years now and will only get better. Now I'm trying to find the best returns on 50,000$ more to invest. Yippi Yay!
How about you?
I'm also quite happy with the performance of my IRA and 401k. Yes, all you broke Bernie fans, I have both of those, and they're doing well. I also can live on 70% of what I earn, so both my house and brand new truck will be paid off early. LOL you only have $50K!?! LOLOLOLOL You fucking losers.
The joke's on you, faggot, because I've got
Those big balls you're talking about, Granny, are probably infected cysts. I would have them looked at by a doctor. You still have to earn money in your mid 70s? You either have a real shit job or maybe you're too stupid to have planned properly. Your tiny 1950s trailer is worthless and make sure you keep the Hot Wheels box that your new truck came in. They're more collectable when you keep them in the box you know.
Keep setting them up Granny and I'll keep knocking them down. It's like taking candy from a baby.
Trump in 2020
The only good cop is a dead cop.
Cops will be called when you ignore your notice to vacate. Count on it.
Oh, c'mon guys. Doesn't anyone want to add to my story about Max Booker? Pretty please? Ah, shucks.
Save a cop, shoot a thug. Diaper Baby Trump has already won! Diaper Baby Trump 2020!
Celebrate another moment of clarity, Granny. However you need to do it. Welcome to reality though I'm sure it will be short lived. Trump-Winning!
Now watch the libtards destroy Bernie. ...contribute to our story.