Then some other stupid shit happened. And then something else. Then bodily functions fascinated you. And then some shit stupid other happened. Else then something and. then function stupid shit. then diarrhea drinking. then fence impaling. then pants crapping. then dying. THE END
Here's what you can contribute. Type something into the box below. Do you fear God. How does a country that produces Abraham Lincoln also manage to shit out Donald Trump? End in the middle of a sentence and the next author can continue from there. How stupid is the State of Florida? Temporary layoffs, good times! Easy credit rip offs, good times? Or not. Only the mundane and the idiotic* is disallowed. Ed Meese once ate a bug on a dare.
Ken stepped back into the sunlight. Continuing his quest alone, he couldn't stop himself from laughing again at Beauregard's mention of tossing cookies. "What a faggot" Ken mused.
At the next intersection, Ken turned left, following the arrows pointing to Pomboland. It sounded like an interesting place. "Pombo Pombo Pombo, Pomboland" Ken sang as he walked. "EVERYBODY'S LIVING IN POMBOLAND! Working and playing in Pomboland, know what I'm saying, it's Pomboland!"
Stopping to eat a handfull of raspberries from a conveniently growing plant, Ken saw someone watching him from behind a large tree.
Meadowlark Lemon and his Buckateers. Ken was not the one he was expecting, but he knew Ken was the hero the world needed. But Ken had no genitals. Just a smooth, plastic sheath. Ken couldn't fuck. Ken couldn't eve pee, at least not like a real man. He knew that's why Barbie was always just stringing him along. Until be finally kicked that greedy bitch to the curb. No pussy was worth all that abuse. Ken reveled in his newfound freedom. He also pissed on her Corvette for good measure.
It was then that Ken realized that he was in love with G.I. Joe. Of course, Joe was another eunuch like Ken, but Joe had everyone fooled that he had balls. Which, of course, he did not. Yes, G.I. Joe had Kung Fu Grip, to the delight of Barbie, but alas, like Ken, he was genitally deficient.
But G.I. Joe had a macho image to protect. "Joe would never reciprocate my love" lamented Ken. But Ken could not have been more wrong.
Hey guys, Ken here. It's great that you're trying to tell my story but you have a few detales wrong. Because at that time, Ken couldn't know the glitter-storm that awaited him.
Joe was a big man. A muscular man, with no other apparent interests. A man who was quietly yet undeniably gay.
"Hey Ken!", he would say ...to himself. This was something that had possessed his life since childhood... He'd never said, ever thought, but never spoken.
Could it though? But no, he was declined - or was he???
He held a quiet ounce of hope.
The next day dawned in much the way it tends: Wednesday morning.
Busy. Everyone seemed to be rushing about unnecessarily, but this one time, it seemed a lot worse than usual.
"Hey, Julie!", he said, approaching a person he had known, and appreciated for over 3 years...
She feined a smile, and offered a distant nod.
Now, what the fuck was that?!! He moved on....
Jeremy Roenick may be the biggest horse's ass to ever play professional hockey, or any other sport for that matter. Much like baseball's noted ass hat, Curt Schilling, Roenick was very talented but also a loud mouthed buffoon who made everyone aware of how stupid he was within 5 seconds of speaking. Danny Gare was a prolific goal scorer for the Buffalo Sabres. If one had to compile a list of the largest clowns on each NHL team, Matthew Barnaby would almost certainly be at the top of everyone's list for the aforementioned Buffalo squad. Hoo boy! What a douche bag! Leaping' Lou Fontinato found his destiny at the hands of Mr Hockey. Remember that Cletus?
Hockey is for faggots.
Speaking of the Sabres, Cletus, Buffalo has had its share of really swell hockey players, most notably Rick Martin, Rene Robert and the incomparable Gilbert Perreault, who made up the famed French Connection line. And of course, Dominic Hasek, one of the greatest netminders of all time. There's a joke about ice hockey and Bristol Palin that I will not repeat, as it is both vulgar and it brings up that horrid family and their revolting legacy. Alas, Buffalo also has Rob Ray and Andrew Peters amongst its alumni, two troglodytes who were an embarrassment to The Game. Boy oh boy that Scott Baio is a moron. Johnny Mac Kenzie played for the Boston Bruins in the nineteen seventies and was nicknamed "Pie face". That's all for now Cletus. You can go back to watching NASCAR and Kevin Can Wait.
Hockey is for faggots.